“Sana all!” A phrase we say every time we see sweet pictures of lovers doing some #couplegoals while hoping that someday, we will find “the one” that is meant for us. As we are nearing Valentine’s Day, allow us to tickle your “kilig” bones once more with a story of love between two individuals that started over coffee and loads of good conversation.
Kim and Mae connected through Facebook sometime in 2017. They had some friendly exchange over the platform and when Kim found out that Mae is about to migrate to the United States, she went out of her comfort zone and they decided to meet each other. Kim was not a believer in Long-Distance Relationships or “LDR” knowing that if they pursue the relationship, it would be the case for both of them. But since they were interested in each other and even had smooth conversations when they met, they took the risk.
Kim recollected that their first official date was over coffee at a mall in Manila. Mae likes her coffee iced while Kim prefers her coffee hot. She told us that right then and there, she realized that love, like coffee’s aroma, is in the air. With eyes closed and with the warmth from every sip, she can feel love’s subtle grip on her over this amazing woman. They stayed until the mall closes and if not because of mall hours, they would have stayed even longer and enjoyed the time they had together.
Mae proceeded on her plans of migrating with the two of them constantly communicating. Because they want to test the waters of a long-distance relationship, they did not commit right away. However, with Mae’s confidence and trust paired with Kim’s dedication to the relationship, they both said yes to each other and became a couple. As time passed, their bond got stronger, and have been in LDR for three years now.
When asked what they both like to do as couples, Kim said that they always maintain constant communication through video chat where they reminisce their time together, talk about their goals and dreams, and of course, check out their cart through online shopping! Mae said that since they are in LDR, doing physical activities together can be a hindrance but it does not imply that they cannot show their love to each other. She says that even if she has an extreme workload and can barely take rest because of juggling work and school schedules, sometimes she dozes off while they are on video call but Kim said that she loves to watch her fall asleep and take the time to rest. They maintain the excitement in the relationship because they both love surprises! Special occasions are very important to them but even on ordinary days, they make it a point to send each other something that will express their love for one another.
We asked them how they would describe their partner in three words without explaining. Kim went on and described Mae as Responsible, Empowered, and Pure. May, on the other hand, described Kim as Generous, Truthful, and God-Fearing.
When in an LDR, it is 90% communication and 10% gazing. Constant communication, transparency, and putting their trust in each other is a must. Whenever they reminisce or brainstorm on important future decisions, they do not forget to have a cup of coffee on hand because it puts them in a more focused mood to think about and discuss critical topics at hand.
“What is the most important lesson you learned from being in a relationship with your partner?” We asked. Kim wittily said, “I learned from her that love is easy and beautiful, lalo na kapag good boy ka. Haha.” Also, she said, “Loving and being committed requires hard work from both parties for it to work, it’s always a two-way road.”
Mae went on with a beautiful response and said, “Two things. Love does not define gender and distance. Love is love, just like how the LGBT community defines it and it applies to everyone.” Also, she said that loving someone made her brave to express how she feels even if all else fails. “When love is all that matters, not even distance can destroy a relationship and that is how we visualize ours. We consciously do not follow the notion that LDR does not really work. Instead, we always choose to put our trust in each other and keep the faith that in God’s perfect timing, everything will fall into place and we will be together for good.”
Lastly, we asked them their secret to keeping the relationship strong and lasting. Here is what Kim said.
First, Communicate well. Be aware that your partner is not a mind reader so make sure that you have properly conveyed your thoughts. Talk with honesty and listen carefully.
Second, Trust your partner. Do not give in to insecurities or jealousy. If feelings of it arise, go back to the first advice.
Third, Efforts – big or small – are what really counts and is always worth it. And if your partner does the same thing, always remember to appreciate their efforts.
Fourth, Cherish your partner. Going back to advise number two, keep in mind that it does not matter who does better at something or who loves who more. Love is not an arena where you conquer your partner at every chance you get.
Fifth, Don’t be a jerk. Love is not always about “kilig.” Arguments are inevitable but when that time comes, fight respectfully and with dignity. If unavoidable, learn to compromise and find the middle ground that works best for both of you. Love is more than just black and white, it can be as much as the colors of the rainbow.
Sixth, Give each other personal time. Being in a committed relationship does not necessarily mean that you must do everything together. You have to have personal time and maintain each other’s individuality. Respect your partner’s “me-time.”
Seventh, Be your partner’s strongest support system. Your partner has qualities that you love and dislike. But as you spend more time together, always keep an open mind that your partner will evolve. Qualities that they possessed before which you liked may change. When that time comes, be mature enough to recognize it and be there for them.
Lastly, always put God in the center of your relationship. When you put God first and you have prayed for your relationship, He will provide you a surreal feeling of love and security despite the distance. Always choose to trust and never get tired of loving your partner for God rewards a patient heart and serves you your one true love.
There we have it once again. Two individuals opening up their experience and story and showing us that everything is possible with love. So, to those who are still finding their “one true love,” it is time to be brave and ask the questions, can distance break love? Can society dictate to us how to love? Can norms tell us who to love? Only by love can you tell.
So, let’s open our eyes, our minds, and our hearts to loving. It is painful, it includes suffering, it includes sacrifices, but at the end of the day, those who genuinely love can tell that it’s all worth it.